More Genius from The Onion

Here's some more on-the-nose satire from The Onion:


New Google Phone Service Whispers Targeted Ads Directly Into Users' Ears

I particularly love the jab at Yahoo! at the end of the piece.

"Star Trek" Fun

The banner image for Gizmodo's review of "Star Trek."

Here's an excerpt from a Gizmodo article titled, 'J.J. Abrams Admits Star Trek Lens Flares Are "Ridiculous"'

I'm curious to hear more about why you decided to use so many lens flares, and exactly when you decided to use them?

[Smiles] I don't know what you're talking about. [Laughs] I'm kidding. I know what you're saying with the lens flares. It was one of those things... I wanted a visual system that felt unique. I know there are certain shots where even I watch and think, "Oh that's ridiculous, that was too many." But I love the idea that the future was so bright it couldn't be contained in the frame.

The flares weren't just happening from on-camera light sources, they were happening off camera, and that was really the key to it. I want [to create] the sense that, just off camera, something spectacular is happening. There was always a sense of something, and also there is a really cool organic layer thats a quality of it... There are something about those flares, especially in a movie that can potentially be very sterile and CG and overly controlled. There is something incredibly unpredictable and gorgeous about them. It is a really fun thing. Our DP would be off camera with this incredibly powerful flashlight aiming it at the lens. It became an art because different lenses required angles, and different proximity to the lens. Sometimes, when we were outside we'd use mirrors. Certain sizes were too big... literally, it was ridiculous. It was like another actor in the scene.

We had two cameras, so sometimes we had two different spotlight operators. When there was atmosphere in the room, you had to be really careful because you could see the beams. So it was this ridiculous, added level of pain in the ass, but I love... [looking at] the final cut, [the flares] to me, were a fun additional touch that I think, while overdone, in some places, it feels like the future is that bright.

(To learn more about the lens flares from "Star Trek," click here and here.)

Here's a clever video that mixes the "Star Trek" and "Star Wars" worlds, from current.com titled "Starship Enterprise Destroyed by the Death Star."



Another clever video, bringing the original series visually up-to-date with J.J. Abrams' film, from YouTube user 'partmor':



Finally, a hilarious video (that requires multiple viewings) from The Onion, with the headline, "Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film as 'Fun, Watchable.'"


Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

The Onion and Truth

The humor that comes from The Onion is rooted in the fact that an element of truth is at the basis of all its stories.

But sometimes, the stories are 100% true, and written in honest language without the need of exaggeration or parody. Sometimes, they're dead-on. And these are the articles I think are the most well-written from The Onion; they're simultaneously funny and sad.

Like these two environmentally-themed articles:

Sunken Oil Tanker Will Be Habitat For Marine Life, Shell Executives Say With Straight Face

HOUSTON, TX-A Shell press release read without a trace of irony claims the Global Explorer will host countless fish and marine vegetation.

GE Ad Trumpets Company's Government-Ordered Environmental Cleanup

PITTSFIELD, MA-A new television commercial from General Electric, unveiled Tuesday, proudly trumpets the company's federally mandated cleanup of a river it polluted.

The Onion on "This American Life"

I love the NPR. I really do. But sometimes it makes me want to kick my car stereo into pieces.

I enjoy listening to Morning Edition, Talk of the Nation, Fresh Air, Marketplace, and other fine programs on the NPR. But I never really understood the fandom of This American Life. In fact, this Onion article pretty much sums it up for me, and how I interpret the show:

This American Life Completes Documentation Of Liberal, Upper-Middle-Class Existence

Here's my favorite passage:

"We've done it," said senior producer Julie Snyder, who was personally interviewed for a 2003 This American Life episode, "Going Eclectic," in which she described what it's like to be a bilingual member of the ACLU trained in kite-making by a Japanese stepfather. "There is not a single existential crisis or self-congratulatory epiphany that has been or could be experienced by a left-leaning agnostic that we have not exhaustively documented and grouped by theme."

Any San Francisco readers will also recognize a similar self-congratulatory theme in KQED's Perspective series, played intermittently during Morning Edition. The Perspectives are consistently... nauseatingly... vomitous. Oh, mercy.

Oh, and sometimes I want to strangle the FM dial when I hear Carl Kasell's voice giving the national news in the mornings. His slurpy delivery, his clearly audible shuffling of papers, his monotone readings, they all drive me into a rage.

If anyone ever wanted to torture me, I'll give you a tip. Forget about the thumbscrews; duct tape me into a chair with a radio with NPR playing nothing but This American Life and "The Best of Carl Kasell's Awful Newsreading."

Just thinking about his voice makes me sweat.

Read The Onion article.