"Grown Ups 2" Trailer with Music from "2001"

The teaser for Gareth Edwards’ “Godzilla” was given high praise from moviegoers for its beautiful, evocative imagery. The rhythm and pacing of the teaser, combined with the gorgeous visual effects work of a group of paratroopers gliding their way into the ravaged San Francisco skyline, made it one of the most memorable teasers of the year.

Most importantly, the “Godzilla” teaser succeeded because it teased; it didn’t reveal a shred of the film's plot or character, or show audiences exactly what the movie is about, which is refreshing.

One of the reasons the “Godzilla” teaser works so well is the music -- in fact, the first time I watched the trailer, I shouted at my computer screen, “Hey, that’s cheating!” The filmmakers used the music from a sequence in Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”, the famous Jupiter And Beyond The Infinite scene, which features the dazzling slit screen photography, shot by the visual effects legend Douglas Trumbull.

“Any trailer that uses that music would look cool!” I joked. And then, I wondered if that’s really true? Can any trailer with the music from the “2001” stargate sequence look cool?  Challenge accepted!

So I put the Lux Aeterna orchestration from “2001” (by Gyoergy Ligeti) underneath the “Grown Ups 2” trailer, starring Adam Sandler, the least-cool trailer I could think of.  I did some minor picture editing to make the edit work, sweetened the audio and added some stingers.

View larger on YouTube

Now that looks like a terrifying movie. Maybe even more terrifying than the original.

Do Not Attempt

Here's proof that, perhaps, lawyers run the world.

This is the most bizarre disclaimer I've ever seen on a television commercial; far more peculiar than the standard "Do Not Attempt" disclaimer on most car commercials, even branding "Do Not Attempt" on commercials that are realized almost entirely with visual effects and cannot possibly be attempted in any way shape or form.

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The actual disclaimer from the new BMW 5 Series commercial, "What You Love", underneath shots of a contented young boy sticking his hand out the window of a moving car:

"Sticking your hand out the window is dangerous. Caution children not to engage in this activity."

An activity as innocuous as sticking one's hand out a moving car's window to feel the breeze, as depicted in the commercial that I'm looking at right now with the sultry tones of Chris Pine's voice guaranteeing my son will be so satisfied with life if I drive a BMW he will ponder the poetry of the universe by feeling the wind against his hand, is considered to exceed a level of risk for the lawyers at BMW such that it forces such a dire warning. A hand. Out the window.

The commercial is saying "You see that thing you can do with our product? Yeah, don't do that. It's dangerous!"

In a few years, we will reach to volume of disclaimers seen in the "Happy Fun Ball" commercial.

How Companies View Their Customers

Want to be a jerk like this guy? If so, then Microsoft wants you as a customer.

Commercials are not simply conduits for product sales, they are a window into how the advertiser looks upon its customers. They reveal how companies really think about their consumers and how they will ultimately use their products. To illustrate the sometimes wildly different perspectives on advertisers' potential customers, let's analyze a few mobile phone commercials and see what they reveal about the company's attitudes toward the masses.

First up, a typical Apple iPhone commercial:

Apple iPhone, "Backpacker"

How Apple regards its potential customers: customers can use our product to easily find hotels, share your photos with your family, and help you learn a new language.

Next up, a Verizon commercial, trumpeting its 3G coverage:

Verizon "Big Red"

A fractured transcript:
• Browse the web much better (Verizon customer is supposedly posing for a sculpture, but is tapping away on her cell phone, the artist ultimately gets frustrated with her lack of focus, and she doesn't even notice when the sculpture is finished)
• Update Facebook pages better (kids on a camping trip are ignoring their father telling a scary story while playing with a phone)
• Ditch your boring job much better (a bellboy ignores his customers because he's having so much fun tapping on his phone)
• You'll watch YouTube on a horse... (um, yeah, that one is self-explanatory)
• Download stupid stuff much better

How Verizon regards its potential customers: Verizon customers can waste time, ignore their job, tune out from the normal world, be brats on camping trips, and, well, we'll just spell it out for them, "download stupid stuff" with our product.

Microsoft essentially says the same thing in this next ad.

Microsoft, "Meetings are Better with a Windows Phone"

Microsoft: "Want to be a douchebag, jerk-employee who wastes time in conferences on Facebook, and then tries to cover it up with an Excel spreadsheet? You should buy a Microsoft phone!"

Movie Marketing is Hard! "Wedding Daze"

Another in our Movie Marketing Is Hard! series.
Hey, look! The folks behind the "American Pie" movies have created another chapter of the "American Pie" saga! But hold on... something's amiss. "Wedding Daze" is not actually a sequel to the "American Pie" movies.

The "Wedding Daze" DVD cover certainly, ahem, borrows a few visual elements from the branding of the "American Pie" series, don't you think? And the ad campaign (including its television commercials) seems especially intent on ripping off the visual style, tone, and title-osity of "Pie's" third film, "American Wedding." The only thing missing from the cover is a tagline like, "If you liked 'American Pie,' you'll love "Wedding Daze!'" And that would be a tad awkward, because the films were created by different studios.

Jason Biggs prominently featured on the cover? Check. Actors, in tuxedos, isolated from their backgrounds and placed against a white backdrop? Check. Big, boldy, red title, with white specks to dirty it up, and a freakin' rectangle around the title? Check. Slight counter-clockwise tilt of the title graphic? Check. A redhead actress on the cover? Check. "Wedding" in the title? Check.

"Wedding Daze," an MGM film directed by Michael Ian Black, is actually a complete rebranding of the film originally titled "The Pleasure of Your Company," which apparently was completed in 2006. MGM, it seems, sent the project directly to DVD and retitled the movie. I'm sure the marketing folks at Universal are thrilled about "Daze's" marketing campaign.

Movie Marketing is Hard! "Beowulf" and "300"

[Hello, Defamer readers.]

Another in our series, titled "Movie Marketing is Hard!", illustrating the lack of creativity amongst studio ad campaigns.
Zack Snyder's "300" made a lot of money. How much money, you ask? $450 million. Of course, if you asked the marketing geniuses at Paramount behind the "Beowulf" ad campaign, I'm sure they would have corrected me, and answered "$456,068,181, domestic plus global."

Why would the Paramount marketing team know this fact so intimately? Well, it's clear that they've been studying the ad campaign for "300" very carefully. Among many stylistic and clear similarities between each films' trailers, here are a few highlights:


Both trailers have the lead, bearded, warrior hero, in closeup, loudly proclaiming that "THIS! IS! SPARTA!", or, "I! AM! BEOWULF!"




Each trailer has an anachronistic guitar-riff-filled montage of violence, wrapped up with our warrior hero proclaiming something about "TONIGHT..."




And, most obviously, each trailer's graphics are rough, bold, blood red, and set against time-lapse clouds with lightning bursts.





Sure, there are some broad, thematic similarities to both pictures. But the "Beowulf" trailer is clearly trying to mimic the success of the "300" campaign, with no attempt at subtlety or, perhaps, advancing on the style that "300" created. There are several different ways to market a film. It takes a gargantuan lack of creativity to simply carbon-copy a previously successful campaign.

• "300" trailers at Apple.com
  
• "Beowulf" trailers at Apple.com
  

Movie Marketing is Hard! "Good Luck Chuck" and "The Heartbreak Kid"

Apparently, the marketing geniuses at Lions Gate and Paramount think alike.

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Tagline for "Good Luck Chuck": Sometimes love blows.
Tagline for "The Heartbreak Kid": Love blows.