Tuesday, January 28, 2014

The VFX Predictinator, 86th Academy Awards Edition


UPDATE: Yep.

Now that the Academy Award nominations have been announced, it’s time to fire up The VFX Predictinator.  This year’s predicted winner may not surprise you. But first, here's some background for those of you just joining us.

The VFX Predictinator is a formula my wife and I created to predict the winner of the visual effects Oscar. We designed the formula before the 82nd Academy Awards based on 20 years of data (1989-2008); it assigns point values to certain criteria of each nominee. Part 1 of the series.

Using the same formula, we have correctly predicted the last four years of Oscar winners (“Avatar”, “Inception”, “Hugo” and “Life of Pi”). For 24 years, this single formula has correctly predicted the winner of the visual effects Oscar.

Allow me to reiterate that this discussion is not about artistic or technical achievements. This isn’t about who ‘deserves’ to win due to aesthetic achievement, technical prowess, or cultural significance; the whole point of this exercise is to prove that Academy voters are simply predictable when it comes to determining how they will vote. As a reminder, the visual effects branch of the Academy determines the nominees in a bake-off, while the full Academy membership of nearly 6,000 members votes on the winners.

Academy voters ride waves of popularity, acclaim, perceived challenges and their own short memory spans when voting for winners of Academy Awards. Many admit they haven't seen even a majority of nominated films. We designed The Predictinator to account for these things: for example, popularity (box office), acclaim (Rotten Tomatoes score), memory span (month of release), plus other criteria which can affect voters' emotional choices.

Is the nominee a sequel? Blech. Has its lead actor won an Oscar before? Oh, well, it’s got my vote! Is the movie filled with robots that destroy things? Meh, no thank you. I just saw this movie two months ago! I remember it!

Let’s see what the formula says about the 86th Academy Awards:


“Gravity” is the predicted winner, with 9.67 points. Its margin of victory is quite similar to last year’s winner, “Life of Pi” over its next closest competitor.

Alfonso Cuaron’s film excelled in nearly every piece of criteria; it was a critical darling (it had the highest RT score of all the nominees at a whopping 97%), earned a lot of money (the third top grosser), and was released late in the year. The film was one of two non-sequels nominated, which helped as well. Nominees that are sequels have their scores reduced by 0.5 points.

But most importantly, “Gravity” earned 10 total Oscar nominations, blowing all of the other films away. Previous winners “Life of Pi”, “Hugo” and "Return of the King" earned 11 total Oscar nominations. And over the last 24 years, the film that earned the most Oscar nominations among the visual effects nominees won the visual effects award 20 times.

Putting the final nail in the coffin, “Gravity” stars Sandra Bullock, who is an Oscar winner herself, giving the film another point.


Last year, “Hobbit 1” had the third highest Predictinator score; this year “Hobbit 2” earned enough to be in second place. Strengths for “Hobbit 2” included its month of release (December) and its respectable Tomatometer and box office scores.  It was the only film that qualified for the extremely important “Primary FX are organic creatures” criteria, plus the subsequent “facial acting” criteria, for its creation of Smaug, the talking dragon. However, these positives weren't enough to overtake the juggernaut that is “Gravity”.

The relative lack of organic creatures in 2013 mimics 2011 and 2010; like those years, only one film had organic creatures as their primary visual effects. In both of those years, the creature film was not the predicted (nor actual) winner. If our 2013 prediction is true, it will continue this bizarre pattern.

At third and fourth place was “Star Trek Into Darkness” and “Iron Man 3”, two sequels that were well-reviewed and earned lots of money at the box office, but were penalized for being sequels, and without primary creature work. Plus, they were released earlier in the year, and didn’t earn enough additional Oscar nominations to earn any points.

“The Lone Ranger” earned a dismal score of 1.17 points; it was destroyed by its low Tomatometer rating and its relatively minuscule box office. But its low score was not record-breaking. At 1.04 points, “Transformers 3” has the lowest score of The Predictinator’s history. “Ranger” has the second lowest, with “Alien 3” as the third lowest.

Stepping away from the statistics for a moment; there’s no denying that “Gravity” has captured the imagination of the public and of Academy voters.  The innovative techniques used in the creation of the effects, along with its flawless execution and gorgeous aesthetics (combined with the fact that it is a nearly universally-loved film) give this prediction emotional support. The Predictinator numbers quantify the wave of popularity and acclaim for the film.


You might respond to this prediction with Um, well, duh, of course ‘Gravity’ will win the Oscar. I don’t need a formula to tell me that.

I would be the first to admit that it would be truly surprising if "Gravity" didn't take home the Oscar.  Lucky for us, The Predictinator seems just as accurate predicting the obvious winners as the nail-biters.  How many people were predicting “Hugo” to win over “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” and the final “Harry Potter” film?  Or "The Golden Compass" winning over "Transformers"? Or "Babe" over "Apollo 13"? The Predictinator nailed these winners, plus also correctly predicted the lopsided victories of “Avatar” and “Inception”.

We'll see what happens when the Academy Award winners are announced on March 2.  UPDATE: Yep.


Saturday, January 25, 2014

86th Academy Award Nominees for Visual Effects

The nominees for the 86th Academy Awards have been announced. As always, the nominees were determined by the visual effects branch of the Academy after attending a bake-off of 10 films.  The full Academy membership will vote on the winners of each category.  The awards ceremony will take place on March 2, 2014.

Here are the nominees for Achievement in Visual Effects for the 86th Academy Awards. Congratulations to all who helped bring these images to the screen.

GRAVITY
Tim Webber, Chris Lawrence, Dave Shirk and Neil Corbould

IRON MAN 3
Christopher Townsend, Guy Williams, Erik Nash and Dan Sudick

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG
Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton and Eric Reynolds

THE LONE RANGER
Tim Alexander, Gary Brozenich, Edson Williams and John Frazier

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS
Roger Guyett, Patrick Tubach, Ben Grossmann and Burt Dalton


And, yes, I will run The Predictinator on this year's group of nominees. Stay tuned.  And here it is.


Friday, January 17, 2014

VES Announces Nominations for 12th VES Awards


The Visual Effects Society has announced the nominees for the 12th VES Awards. The nominees were determined by VES members who participated in the nomination judging process.

Alfonso Cuaron's "Gravity" earned the most nominations, totaling eight, including Best Visual Effects in a Visual Effects Driven Film.  "Pacific Rim" earned six noms, while "Iron Man 3" and "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug" earned five each.  "Star Trek Into Darkness", "The Lone Ranger" and "Man of Steel" each earned two nominations.

Earning one nomination was "The Great Gatsby", "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", "The Wolf of Wall Street", "White House Down", "Oz: The Great and Powerful" and "Elysium".

Some interesting tidbits from this year's nominees: films that are in this year's Academy Bake-Off that didn't earn any VES nominations include "Oblivion", "Thor: The Dark World" and "World War Z".  In contrast, "The Great Gatsby", "Man of Steel", "Mitty", "The Wolf of Wall Street", "White House Down", and "Oz: The Great and Powerful" earned VES nominations while not being invited to the Academy Bake-Off.

Listed below are all of the live-action feature film categories. To see all of the nominees, visit FXGuide's coverage.  To learn more about the Visual Effects Society, visit their web site.


Outstanding Visual Effects in a Visual Effects-Driven Feature Motion Picture
Gravity
Tim Webber, Nikki Penny, Chris Lawrence, Richard Mcbride

Iron Man 3
Christopher Townsend, Mark Soper, Guy Williams, Bryan Grill

Pacific Rim
John Knoll, Susan Greenhow, Chris Raimo, Hal Hickel

Star Trek: Into Darkness
Roger Guyett, Luke O’Byrne, Ron Ames, Ben Grossman

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, Kevin Sherwood, David Clayton


Outstanding Supporting Visual Effects in a Feature Motion Picture
Rush
Jody Johnson, Moriah Etherington-Sparks, Mark Hodgkins, Antoine Moulineau

The Great Gatsby
Chris Godfrey, Prue Fletcher, Joyce Cox

The Lone Ranger
Tim Alexander, Gary Brozenich, Shari Hanson, Kevin Martel

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
Guillaume Rocheron, Kurt Williams, Monette Dubin, Ivan Moran

The Wolf of Wall Street
Robert Legato, Mark Russell, Joseph Farrell, Lisa Spence

White House Down
Marc Weigert, Volker Engel, Julia Frey, Ollie Rankin


Outstanding Animated Character in a Live Action Feature Motion Picture
Gravity: Ryan
Max Solomon, Mathieu Vig, Michael Brunet, David Shirk

Oz the Great and Powerful: China Girl
Troy Saliba, In-Ah Roediger, Carolyn Vale, Kevin Souls

Pacific Rim: Kaiju – Leatherback
Jakub Pistecky, Frank Gravatt, Cyrus Jam, Chris Havreberg

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug: Smaug
Eric Reynolds, David Clayton, Myriam Catrin, Guillaume Francois


Outstanding Created Environment in a Live Action Feature Motion Picture
Elysium: Torus
Votch Levi, Joshua Ong, Barry Poon

Gravity: Interior
Harry Bardak, Nathan Walster, Jonathan Fawkner, Claire Michaud

Gravity: Exterior
Paul Beilby, Kyle Mcculloch, Stuart Penn, Ian Comley

Iron Man 3: Shipyard
John Stevenson-Galvin, Greg Notzelman, Paul Harris, Justin Stockton

Pacific Rim: Virtual Hong Kong
Johan Thorngren, Jeremy Bloch, David Meny, Polly Ing


Outstanding Virtual Cinematography in a Live Action Feature Motion Picture
Gravity
Tim Webber, Emmanuel Lubezki, Richard Mcbride, Dale Newton

Iron Man 3
Mark Smith, Aaron Gilman, Thelvin Cabezas, Gerardo Ramirez

Man of Steel
Daniel Paulsson, Edmund Kolloen, Joel Prager, David Stripinis

Pacific Rim: Hong Kong Ocean Brawl
Colin Benoit, Nick Walker, Adam Schnitzer, Victor Schutz

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Christian Rivers, Phil Barrenger, Mark Gee, Thelvin Tico Cabezas


Outstanding Models in a Feature Motion Picture
Gravity: ISS Exterior
Ben Lambert, Paul Beilby, Chris Lawrence, Andy Nicholson

Pacific Rim
David Fogler, Alex Jaeger, Aaron Wilson, David Behrens

Star Trek: Into Darkness
Bruce Holcomb, Ron Woodall, John Goodson, Thomas Fejes

The Lone Ranger: Colby Locomotive
Rene Garcia, Steve Walton, Brian Paik, Gerald Gutschmidt


Outstanding FX and Simulation Animation in a Live Action Feature Motion Picture
Gravity: Parachute and ISS Destruction
Alexis Wajsbrot, Sylvain Degrotte, Horacio Mendoza, Juan-Luis Sanchez

Man of Steel
Brian Goodwin, Gray Horsfield, Mathieu Chardonnet, Adrien Toupet

Pacific Rim: Fluid Simulation & Destruction
Ryan Hopkins, Michael Balog, Patrick Conran, Rick Hankins

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Areito Echevarria, Andreas Soderstrom, Ronnie Menahem, Christoph Sprenger


Outstanding Compositing in a Feature Motion Picture
Elysium
Jean Lapointe, Jordan Benwick, Robin Hackl, Janeen Elliott

Gravity
Mark Bakowski, Anthony Smith, Theodor Groeneboom, Adrian Metzelaar

Iron Man 3: Barrel of Monkeys
Michael Maloney, Francis Puthanangadi, Justin Van Der Lek, Howard Cabalfin

Iron Man 3: House Attack
Darren Poe, Stefano Trivelli, Josiah Howison, Zach Zaubi

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
Charles Tait, Robin Hollander, Giuseppe Tagliavini, Sean Heuston




Thursday, January 09, 2014

Movie Marketing is Hard! "WTF Happened to Movie Posters"


A brilliant, comprehensive look at today's bland and lazy modern movie posters, created by Good Bad Flicks.

Tuesday, January 07, 2014

"Grown Ups 2" Trailer with Music from "2001"


The teaser for Gareth Edwards’ “Godzilla” was given high praise from moviegoers for its beautiful, evocative imagery. The rhythm and pacing of the teaser, combined with the gorgeous visual effects work of a group of paratroopers gliding their way into the ravaged San Francisco skyline, made it one of the most memorable teasers of the year.

Most importantly, the “Godzilla” teaser succeeded because it teased; it didn’t reveal a shred of the film's plot or character, or show audiences exactly what the movie is about, which is refreshing.

One of the reasons the “Godzilla” teaser works so well is the music -- in fact, the first time I watched the trailer, I shouted at my computer screen, “Hey, that’s cheating!” The filmmakers used the music from a sequence in Stanley Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey”, the famous Jupiter And Beyond The Infinite scene, which features the dazzling slit screen photography, shot by the visual effects legend Douglas Trumbull.

“Any trailer that uses that music would look cool!” I joked. And then, I wondered if that’s really true? Can any trailer with the music from the “2001” stargate sequence look cool?  Challenge accepted!

So I put the Lux Aeterna orchestration from “2001” (by Gyoergy Ligeti) underneath the “Grown Ups 2” trailer, starring Adam Sandler, the least-cool trailer I could think of.  I did some minor picture editing to make the edit work, sweetened the audio and added some stingers.


Now that looks like a terrifying movie. Maybe even more terrifying than the original.


Monday, December 30, 2013

Movies Are Long

"The Wolf of Wall Street" is *how* long?

Just for kicks, I put together the thirteen most popular films in North America last weekend and listed each film's running time, from longest to shortest.
  • The Wolf of Wall Street - 179 minutes
  • The Hobbit 2 - 161m
  • Hunger Games: Catching Fire - 146m
  • Mandela - 139m
  • American Hustle - 129m
  • 47 Ronin - 127m
  • The Secret Life of Walter Mitty -125m
  • Saving Mr. Banks - 120m
  • Anchorman 2 - 119m
  • Grudge Match - 113m
  • Frozen - 108m
  • Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas - 105m
  • Walking With Dinosaurs - 87m
The average running time of the top thirteen films at the box office is 128 minutes.




Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Comparing The "Man of Steel" Teaser and Film



The teaser for Zack Snyder's "Man of Steel" arrived in July 2012, nearly an entire year before the film would ultimately be released in theaters. Trailers are pieces of art unto themselves, and must tell a story in a much different way than the final film; sometimes artistic choices are made in service of the trailer, regardless of how it might affect the final product.

In many cases, the color timing for promotional material is handled by the trailer house, whose sole job is to serve the needs of the trailer; the context of the greater, final film is of little or no significance. In contrast, the final color timing of a finished film serves to underline and enhance the emotional beats of a film.

From a practical point of view, color grading smooths out inconsistencies from shot to shot (slight differences in color temperature, exposure, etc.). The process also enhances and underlines emotional beats of the story.  Just like the musical score and sound effects, color grading with a 'color script' of the film can accentuate the 'feeling' of a scene; for example, cold, emotionless scenes can have a cool tint, while passion-filled sequences could go golden if the director so chooses.

"The Matrix" (1999) movie bar code

"Pleasantville" (1998) movie bar code

The fascinating Movie Bar Code Tumblr illustrates a film's color script by compressing film frames into a single average color, then displaying all those frames in a giant bar code. Just look at the differences between films like "The Matrix" (which hops in and out of the green Matrix world and has deep, dark sequences) and "Pleasantville" (which starts in color, jarringly shifts to black and white, then slowly reintroduces color again).  A few curated, contrasting color scripts have been collected by Visual News.  

The "Man of Steel" teaser, containing footage released nearly a full year before the finished film allows audiences who are interested in visual effects and color timing to peek behind the curtain and witness some of the choices made by the filmmakers over the course of that year.


As you can see from the still frame comparison, a few changes were made from teaser to final film:

- snow - Falling snow was added to the final film with visual effects. The surrounding shots in the final film are significant time cuts, so the snow was not added for continuity reasons.
- color grading - The environment has been cooled off, draining any warm values away, skewing towards cyan (underlining the cold isolation Clark Kent is feeling at this moment). Clark's skin tones have been warmed up a touch, while it appears some blue was taken away from the sky, possibly in an effort to balance the shot. Without the sky tint, the shot could have appeared monochromatic and dull. The slight bit of yellow in the sky fights with the predominantly blue/cyan frame, giving it a counterbalanced palette.
- lens flare - The addition of a lens flare in the final film is what inspired me to investigate the shot in the first place, since I didn't remember seeing the flare in the teaser.  One could argue that the flare adds a bit of punch to the shot, but one could also argue that the shot doesn't need any additional punch. Conceptually, a lens flare adds visual excitement to a shot. Does this particular shot need it? The shot is about isolation; at this point in the film, Clark is on a solitary journey, hopping from job to job like a nomad, in an attempt to conceal his true power and identity. Does this shot require a visual exclamation point to convey these feelings? Also, from a practical point of view, the exterior scene is completely overcast, and the synthetic flare's source is the side of the truck's headlight housing, which makes the addition of the lens flare that much more curious. The camera is nowhere near the light cone of the bulb.

Another curiosity noticeable on the single frame comparison is the significant difference in clarity of Clark's eye. Even more strange: the final film frames before and after this particular frame do not have this 'touch up'. Why would this single frame be isolated for a paint job on Clark's eye?

the difference composite

When the shot is lined up both temporally and spatially and run through a difference filter, we can see the changes between the teaser and final film more clearly.  The warm/red tones of the difference composite indicate the areas that were cooled off. One can also notice the addition of the lens flare (which shows up as a bright glow in the difference composite).

The difference composite also solves the mystery of Clark's eye. His eye socket is actually being lifted (and warmed) due to a soft lens reflection, tied to the additional animated lens flare. Careful study of the difference composite reveals the lens reflection in his hair on the frame before, and against the sky in the frame after. The reflection element is effectively boosting Clark's eye on that single frame which clears up his sunken eyes, which gives the feeling of increased clarity. Watch the HD video for the complete analysis.

MAN OF STEEL Comparison on Vimeo
 
Stu Maschuwitz has written extensively about the emotional effects of color timing, so if you're interested in this kind of stuff, you should read Stu's work. I particularly like his comparison of deleted scenes telecine footage with the final color timed film. 
 
 
 

Friday, December 06, 2013

The List of 10, 86th Academy Awards

It's bake-off time! David S. Cohen of Variety has the scoop on the list of films that will be going to the visual effects bake-off for this year's 86th Academy Awards.
  • Elysium
  • Gravity
  • The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug
  • Iron Man 3
  • The Lone Ranger
  • Oblivion
  • Star Trek Into Darkness
  • Thor: The Dark World
  • Pacific Rim
  • World War Z
The list of 10 films was determined by the Executive Committee of the Academy's visual effects branch (which, in the past, has been populated by 40 people).

The 10 films will each present a 10 minute reel of finished work at the bake-off in January to the full membership of the Academy visual effects branch, along with a quick introduction and post-reel Q&A. After the 10 films have presented, all members of the visual effects branch vote for the five Oscar nominees. Ultimately, the full Academy membership votes for the winners of the Academy Award in every category.

Like last year, the two-step process of an initial list of 15 films whittled down to 10 films was scrapped.  Although the branch used the 15-to-10 process for the 84th Academy Awards, which gives the Executive Committee a chance to catch up on all 15 films, the accelerated rate of the Academy schedule for the 85th and 86th awards meant that the final bake-off list needs to be available in the first week of December of each year.  The 15-to-10 process started for the 80th Academy Awards (for which "The Golden Compass" ultimately won the Oscar).


Congratulations to all of those participating in the bake-off.

Read Cohen's story here.  FXGuide also covered the announcement here.




Tuesday, August 06, 2013

Support Cinefex Classic on Kickstarter

I made this little personal video to illustrate how important Cinefex magazine is to me.


Cinefex magazine has played a very important role in my life. Without it, I probably wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today.  The foundation of my visual effects knowledge comes from Don Shay and the team at Cinefex. When I heard about the Cinefex Classic project, I was absolutely thrilled.  I hope it succeeds.  I'm not affiliated with the Kickstarter project in any way - I just want to see the project get funded, so I can have the entire back catalog of Cinefex, searchable, with restored photos, on my iPad.

Read Stu Maschwitz' Prolost blog post, "Cinefex Classic on Kickstarter" for another firsthand account of a visual effects professional's relationship with this important publication.

Here is the Cinefex Classic Kickstarter video.

Cinefex Classic on Kickstarter

If you like movies and special effects, please consider kicking in a few bucks to this project.

UPDATE: It's been funded!  Hooray!  Here's a special video for backers, and keep spreading the word and pledging to this project.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

The Aspect Ratios and Cinematographers of Steven Spielberg


Here is one of my many half-finished FXRant articles and graphics. I decided to just tidy it up and post it because, well, why not.  Plus, I wanted to publish it before Spielberg's next film was released.

I don't really have any grand, cogent conclusions to share, I just really wanted to visualize the aspect ratios, lens and film formats and cinematographers used by filmmaker Steven Spielberg over his 39 year film career. I've also indicated Oscar nominations and wins for cinematography on the graphic.

Notable notes:
  • Spielberg began his heralded career with no less than five anamorphic films in a row ("The Sugarland Express", "Jaws", "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", "1941" and "Raiders of the Lost Ark").
  • After "Raiders", 14 out of his next 18 films were shot in 1.85 aspect ratio with spherical lenses.
  • With 1993's "Schindler's List", Spielberg began his relationship with cinematographer Janusz Kaminski. Kaminski and Spielberg have now collaborated on 14 films in a row
  • All five of Spielberg's recent films have all been photographed in the 2.35 aspect ratio; all but one were shot with spherical lenses (Super35). The lone anamorphic film was "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull".

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

The "Die Hard At The White House" Franchise


Ten years ago, "The Matrix" sequels "Reloaded" and "Revolutions" were released within 178 days of each other, and held the record for shortest time between blockbuster franchise sequels. This year, that record has been broken.

2013 marks the year a film and its sequel were released within the tightest timeframe.  In March, the Gerard Butler thriller "Die Hard At The White House" debuted in theaters.  A mere 98 days later its sequel "Die Hard At The White House 2", directed by Roland Emmerich, will be released.

Some audiences might be a bit confused since Channing Tatum has taken over the role of the heroic Secret Service Agent (from Gerard Butler), and apparently the President is now Jamie Foxx (perhaps original President Aaron Eckhart was impeached between films). Producers of "Die Hard At The White House 2" plan to excite audiences with even more high-octane machine gun fights, action sequences of helicopters shooting up Washington D.C. monuments, the White House exploding in giant fireballs and general, garden-variety-White-House-destruction-porn.

The sequel also promises to have even bigger, flappier American flags triumphantly being raised, exciting visual effects shots of Air Force One completely blowing up mid-flight, and apparently much more comedy than the original.  Producers also promise to explain how the White House could be rebuilt so quickly after the events of the original film.

Also, U.S.A!  U.S.A.!!

Movie poster parodies of "Olympus Has Fallen" and "White House Down".

Monday, June 17, 2013

Leonardo DiCaprio Can't Stop Toasting


The latest toast is from Martin Scorsese's "The Wolf of Wall Street".  Previous toasts include "The Great Gatsby" (2013) and "Titanic" (1997).  Come on internet, someone make a YouTube supercut montage of DiCaprio toasting.

Friday, May 17, 2013

This Poster Does Not Exist


A poster with Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter and Jason Lee" headlining "The Incredibles" does not exist because Pixar casts voice talent based on voice talent, rather than celebrity and name recognition.


Saturday, May 04, 2013

Sam Elliott, "Beef... It's What's For Dinner" Radio Spot


If you remember one of my earliest posts from 2007, I have an affinity for Sam Elliott.

I found an MP3 of a radio commercial narrated by Elliot around 2002, and have been obsessed with it ever since. I treasured this MP3. I'd play it for my co-workers, constantly.  I'd even play it over the old ILM intercom on Fridays after 5pm.  The commercial is hypnotic. And now I will share it with you, my friends.


It's a radio spot for Beef, narrated by the man himself, the voice of Beef, created by the Cattlemen's Beef Board and National Cattlemen's Beef Association, with Aaron Copland's "Hoe-down" (from Rodeo) underneath.

"Beef stroganoff. Beef Bourguignon. Irish Beef Stew. Beef Brisket. Chateau Brion. Saubraten. Roast Beef. Catalonian Beef Ragu. Mongolian Beef. Chicken Fried Steak. Steak Diane. Grilled Steaks Balsamico. Hamburgers. Sizzling Beef. Spicy Braised Beef. Barbecued Beef Ribs. Beef Wellington. Pepper Beef. Beef Jerky. Beef with Broccoli. Beef Burritos. Beef Fajitas. Beef Tacos. Do you see where I'm going with this? Beef. It's what's for dinner."
 
Beef.

Wednesday, May 01, 2013

Do Not Attempt


Here's proof that, perhaps, lawyers run the world.

This is the most bizarre disclaimer I've ever seen on a television commercial; far more peculiar than the standard "Do Not Attempt" disclaimer on most car commercials, even branding "Do Not Attempt" on commercials that are realized almost entirely with visual effects and cannot possibly be attempted in any way shape or form.


The actual disclaimer from the new BMW 5 Series commercial, "What You Love", underneath shots of a contented young boy sticking his hand out the window of a moving car:

"Sticking your hand out the window is dangerous. Caution children not to engage in this activity."

An activity as innocuous as sticking one's hand out a moving car's window to feel the breeze, as depicted in the commercial that I'm looking at right now with the sultry tones of Chris Pine's voice guaranteeing my son will be so satisfied with life if I drive a BMW he will ponder the poetry of the universe by feeling the wind against his hand, is considered to exceed a level of risk for the lawyers at BMW such that it forces such a dire warning. A hand. Out the window.

The commercial is saying "You see that thing you can do with our product? Yeah, don't do that. It's dangerous!"

In a few years, we will reach to volume of disclaimers seen in the "Happy Fun Ball" commercial.