Monday, July 02, 2007

Awful Movie Poster: "Rumor Has It..."

The "Rumor Has It..." one sheet breaks all of the FXRant Rules of Movie Posters.

First off, the poster is purely photographic, with absolutely no intention of creating a lasting impression on a potential moviegoer with art direction; a hastily created Photoshop collage will not intrigue moviegoers.

Let me document the creative process for the creation of this poster: get photos, mask photos, layer photos. Oooh, feel those creative juices flow! Approved! Where's our paycheck? Plus, those stills of Costner, Ruffalo, MacLaine and Aniston have no consistency to them; it's as if each photograph was randomly grabbed from the stills photographer's archive. The lighting, composition, and attitude are completely different in each actors' shot, with some desperate Photoshop work to try and tie them together. They couldn't even get these stars in the same room, together, for a quick photoshoot? Oh, probably not, because considering the salaries of these performers, that photoshoot might have doubled the budget for the film.

While we're talking about the Photoshoppery-nature of this lame poster, we must ask, why the blue sky background? Did these actors just get pushed out of an airplane? Is it a movie about skydiving?

Secondly, there's nothing in the design of the poster to tease a potential moviegoer about the themes of the film. Well, nothing other than the star-power. Because that's all you see here-- stars. Against a blue sky.

This idiotic film (yes, I saw it) supposes that the events in "The Graduate" actually happened to some of the lead characters. How about a sly reference to "The Graduate" in this poster? Perhaps, a visual allusion to one of the most iconic moments in cinema history: Mrs. Robinson's leg, silhouetted against Benjamin Braddock's goofy shape. Or, at least some half-assed attempt to tie the events of "The Graduate" to your crummy film? Naah, the "Rumor Has It..." poster really works better as a cut-n-paste job.

What's with the smirk, Ms. Aniston? Well, it's not really a smirk, it's as if she's telling us "God, I wish I didn't make this crappy movie." Take another look-- that's what she's saying.

And is the ellipsis really necessary in the title? Does it really add anything to intrigue a potential audience member? I'd really like to know, because studios don't approve titles with superfluous punctuation easily. I wonder how many studio/filmmaker meetings had to happen to get that title approved. Who fought for the ellipsis? Seriously, I want to know.

By the way. this movie is awful. I saw it on a plane, and deep inside my soul, as I was watching it, I kinda sorta wanted the plane to go down, if only to end that cinematic experience. Even the greatest poster in the history of cinemakind couldn't have saved this trainwreck of a film.

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